Giving

These are thoughts that have been running through my head throughout the month of December that I wanted to share. Christmas morning was a day that I have been looking forward to for a long, long time. I even have an image of my mind of how I thought it would play out. I saw in my mind of maybe where I would've stood ect. Does that make sense? As Christmas morning came and all the presents were opened I had to pull the classic Carver tradition "Well, look what is hiding back here!" So I found the lone present and with my heart already pounding gave it to my dad. The anticipation was so great that I felt as though I wanted to jump out of my own skin. It was the wierdest feeling that i have ever felt. I had so many emotions going through me that I couldn't contain my tears. Well, I have never gave so unselfishly before, never worked sooooo hard on something for someone else. That moment of me sitting on a chair and my dad handling the box that inside lay a book of his mother and her life and the thought that he had no idea. Not even the slightest hint of what I was doing. He didn't even know that you could publish books this way. That was definately a moment that will stay with me forever. I was focused on him that morning and could've cared less what I got for Christmas. I know now that that is what Christmas is all about. Giving.


Sharing the hug that followed the opening of the book was one of the greatest things I have ever experienced. I can still feel my dad sobbing on my shoulder. As I hugged him I whispered in his ear, "Im sorry that you lost your mother when you were so young. She was an awesome person." With tears spilling on my shoulders he replied, "It hurts, you don't know how much it hurts. I cried so many times. I cried and cried." To hear my dad say those words to me and to share that with my dad is a moment between us that I will cherish forever. That made everything worth it. Everything.