29th Birthday!

Yes, Im 29 today!

Today is a day that i kinda have been dreading. I knew that my first birthday without my mom was going to be hard. I need her right now amongst all the mess in my life. Mom was always the constant in my life and when life was crazy with big decisions she was always there with a calm voice, giving advice and helping me through it. I miss her today!

The stress kept building:

my kids were watching TV at 1:00 in the afternoon,
I was scrolling through houses we cant afford,
kids fighting over tv, its my birthday,
im supposed to be happy,
husbands gone
...then I snapped!

Im not one to totally fall of my rocker but I was DONE with everything!!

It was a hard, hard day. My kids were all crying, I was crying...it was me. I had let my family get to backwards that we were watching tv at 1:00 on a Sat. afternoon. C'mon that doesn't fly at our house. I was always on the computer getting sucked in to finding the perfect house even though we cant move there till July-Aug.

That was the first part of my day now to the second half

After my fall-out I regrouped and started to study for my talk in sacrament mtg for the next Sun. along with Sharing time for Junior/Senior. I gathered my stuff and went outside under the shade of our tree by Myself. I read an amazing talk that totally hit me. It was titled "Finding Strength in Challenging Times" by Allen F. Packer. What an amazing talk. Later that night Darin took me out to dinner at Tucanos where I got a free meal. Before dinner we drove out to the airport and talked for a bit then gave me the sweetest card ever along with Paul Cardall CD. Love that man!!

A day that started out really horrible ended really great! Not the birthday I thought it was going to be but definitely one that I won't every forget.